SOUTHLAKE, TX — After more than three decades in the medical device industry, Bryan Scott McMillan has learned that the most profound leadership lessons often come from outside the boardroom. For him, that lesson emerged from personal tragedy: the death of his wife to cancer. The experience reshaped his understanding of grief and propelled him into volunteer work with organizations like The WARM Place and Camp Sanguinity, and eventually to found Families with Holes, a nonprofit dedicated to connecting grieving families with practical support and counseling resources.
Now, McMillan is calling on communities to step up for those who are grieving, not with perfect words, but with consistent presence. "People think they need the perfect words," he said. "The families I have met rarely remember exactly what someone said. They remember who kept calling three months later. They remember who brought dinner on an ordinary Tuesday. They remember who stayed."
The need is vast. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 3 million people die each year in the United States, leaving millions to cope with loss. Research also estimates that about one in twelve children will experience the death of a parent or sibling before adulthood, underscoring the widespread need for grief support. Yet despite these numbers, many grieving families feel isolated after the initial flurry of sympathy fades.
"We rush toward people immediately after a funeral," McMillan said. "Then life speeds back up. Grief doesn't. The hardest conversations often happen months later, after everyone else has gone back to normal."
Drawing on his executive background, McMillan believes communities already have the tools to make a difference. "In business, we solved problems by paying attention and following through," he said. "Helping grieving families works much the same way. Listen first. Keep your promises. Stay consistent." Research supports this approach. The CDC has identified social isolation and loneliness as significant public health concerns linked to higher risks of depression, heart disease, dementia, and other conditions. Supportive relationships can improve emotional well-being and aid recovery after major life events.
McMillan is not asking people to become grief experts, but to become dependable neighbors, friends, coworkers, and family members. "I've watched volunteers change someone's entire week by doing something as simple as driving a child to practice or dropping off groceries," he said. "Those aren't small things to the family receiving them. They're huge." He also encourages people to stop worrying about saying the wrong thing. "If you don't know what to say, say that," he explained. "Then sit down and listen. Presence beats perfection every time."
McMillan offers practical steps that require no special training: call someone who has lost a loved one and ask how they are doing; mark important anniversaries and birthdays on your calendar to remember to check in; offer specific help instead of a vague "let me know if you need anything"; bring a meal or help with errands weeks after the funeral; invite grieving friends for a walk or coffee without expecting them to talk; listen without trying to solve every problem; support local grief centers through volunteering; encourage children to express grief in their own way; continue reaching out long after others have stopped; and share what you've learned so more people understand what meaningful support looks like.
"My hope isn't that everyone becomes a counselor," McMillan said. "My hope is that more people become the kind of friend who keeps showing up. That's how stronger families and stronger communities are built." He believes leadership extends beyond the workplace, and the same qualities matter in both arenas: consistency, compassion, humility, and the willingness to act. "At the end of the day," he said, "people rarely remember your title. They remember how you treated them when life became difficult." Supporting grieving families begins with simple, consistent acts of care rather than perfect words. Practical help, regular check-ins, and patient listening can reduce isolation and remind families they are not facing loss alone. Every individual has the ability to make a meaningful difference by showing up, staying connected, and offering steady support long after the initial wave of sympathy has passed.
