As National Grief Awareness Day approaches on Aug. 30, trauma expert Judith A. Swack, Ph.D., is shedding light on why some individuals remain trapped in grief long after a loss. Her insights come from her book Clear Trauma Now: The Powerful Solution for Getting Unstuck, which recently won the 2026 Silver Medal for Grief Books from the Coalition of Visionary Resources (COVR).
Dr. Swack explains that unresolved trauma can keep people stuck in grief by making it difficult to access joyful memories of the deceased. Instead, reminders of the loved one automatically trigger the pain of the moment they died or left. This occurs because during a traumatic loss, the body's fight-flight-freeze response becomes conditioned to remember and react to anything associated with that time, causing people to repeatedly relive the shock of the event.
Healing begins by calming this trauma response so the nervous system no longer reacts as though the loss is happening in the present. Dr. Swack shares five first steps toward healing, which are detailed in her book and her upcoming webinar series.
The first step is to separate the trauma from the person you loved. Many grieving people fear that letting go of the trauma will sever their connection to the lost loved one. Dr. Swack asserts the opposite: trauma can become fused with memory, so every remembrance triggers pain instead of love. Healing the trauma allows positive memories and gratitude to return without losing the relationship.
Second, grieving individuals should identify the hidden layers beneath their grief. Grief is rarely just sadness; it often includes shock, fear, anger, hurt, guilt, shame, and helplessness. Recognizing these emotions is crucial for addressing them.
Third, listen for limiting beliefs that loss may have created. Traumatic loss often leaves unconscious conclusions like "It's my fault," "People always leave me," or "I'm powerless." These beliefs can affect relationships, work, and self-confidence long after the loss, but awareness is a key step toward healing.
Fourth, pay attention to the feeling of emptiness. A deep sense of emptiness or a "hole" in the chest or stomach is a hallmark of unresolved loss trauma. People often try to fill this void through work, food, relationships, or compulsive behaviors. Recognizing that this emptiness is part of the trauma response can help individuals seek healthier ways to heal.
Finally, recognize that healing trauma is not about forgetting someone or "moving on." One of the biggest barriers to recovery is the fear that healing means leaving a loved one behind. However, resolving the trauma surrounding a loss does not erase the relationship; it allows people to stop reliving the worst moment and begin remembering the love, joy, and meaning that came before the loss.
"Healing trauma at all levels allows people to easily recall special memories of loving connection and appreciate the ways in which their lives were enriched by having known that person," Dr. Swack says.
Dr. Swack's methodology, Healing from the Body Level Up™ (HBLU™), is a comprehensive system designed to clear trauma at the conscious, unconscious, body, and soul levels. She will present a "Clear Trauma Now Live Healing" webinar on Thursday evenings in September, offering real-time trauma healing. For details, visit hblu.org/live-healing-experience.
